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The  Men's ABC Guide to Breaking Up with Style

A is for Another.  If she isn't the right lover for you then find another.

B is for Bash.  If she doesn't want you than you can bash her name all over town.

C is for Call.  Tell her you will call her, even though you have absolutely no intention of ever speaking to her again.

D is for Duck. If you see her duck around the corner. Avoid running into her at all costs.

E is for Esteem.  Never, ever leave her with her self-esteem intact. She may just see you for the scum-sucker that you really are, meet a new man, and get a better life.

F is for F*ck.  Yes, it's okay to still f*ck her.

G is for Guilt.   Don't worry about guilt. These feelings will pass when you realize just how wrong she did you by loving you.

H is for Handy.  See "F is for...".

I is for Insecure. If you are insecure about the breakup tell her you still want to be friends. That way if you ever change your mind...

J is for Jealousy. Whenever you see her displaying jealousy over your new playmate tell her exactly how much better you're doing without her.

K is for Kiss. Make sure at the time of the breakup to give her a deep, throaty, seductive, 10-minute long kiss goodbye. Women love this!

L is for Love. Tell her it hurts you more than her because you love her so much. This insures that she will find it very difficult to let go.

M is for Masturbate. When it becomes necessary to masturbate -- never, ever fantasize about her. This can be very damaging to your mental heath and sexual well-being.

N is for Narcissistic. This is a trait that women find most attractive in a man. Narcissistic men don't ever have to go through breakups, even if they wanted to -- they can never really, truly leave themselves, anyway.

O is for Old.  Yes, a 26-year-old is much too old for you! Dump her--you can always find a much younger woman (maybe your daughter has some friends?...)!

P is for Pity.  When you still see her alone weeks later walk up to her and tell her you pity her her inability to find someone. Remind her again exactly how much better you're doing without her.

Q is for Quantity.  You can never tell her too much how very wrong she is for you. The quantity of your rejection is what women really want to hear.

R is for Ridiculous. Don't be ridiculous, of course you'll find better.

S is for Sex.  See "F is for...".

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T is for Timing. Timing is everything. Plan your breakup about the time term papers are due, she is late with her period, or her mother just died. This way she will be so busy with other things in her life that she'll breeze right through the breakup.

U is for Unnatural. It is unnatural to have any contact with a woman you professed to love for years. See "D is for...".

V is for Vow. Vow to love her forever--this prevents her from letting go and moving on. Follow up with "K is for...".

W is for Wink. Wink at every woman you meet or see. Old ones, young ones, fat ones, skinny ones, tall ones, short ones. Woman are stupid, they will not know you have no self-esteem. They will think they are cute.

X is for Xylophone. Everybody knows that.

Y is for You. Remember you are the most important factor here. Step on all others.

Z is for zzzzzzzzz. if you followed steps A-Y you should be able to get your zzzzzzzzzzz's!

By Tigress Luv

NOTE: Not to be taken without permission from the owner.

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How to Get Over a Breakup
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