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I WANT TO CALL MY EX!!!

"But I want to call her/him!!!!" (Wow, can we wail!) "But I want to hear her/his voice and try to reason with them and try to MAKE THEM SEE!"

Oh, geez, what am I going to do with you?!?! If you absolutely, positively MUST call your ex then here is an option....Make the call IN YOUR HEAD!!! Think about everything you will say to them and think about how they will answer (I'm sure you know them well enough to know how they will answer you)...

You ready? Start dialing .......rrriiiiinggggg......rriinnnggggg......You hear the phone being picked up on the other end of the line...their familiar, but cold voice says, "Hello?"

okay, now you say "Hi, it's me" and then continue on...what will you say to your ex? Place your statement here " _________".

Now how is your ex answering you?

Think about all the painful, hurtful things they will say...think about the validated rejection you will feel....think about it until your stomach starts to feel like it's made of lead...think how they will answer you, the cold tone to their voice, the apathy in their words. Okay, now that you have imagined this phone call actually taking place, and the answers your ex has given you, AND THE OUTCOME OF THE CALL, how does it make you feel? Probably pretty shitty, stupid, lacking in dignity, and feeling clingy and insecure, right? DON'T MAKE THE CALL!  Go for a walk instead, truly. Every time you want to call your ex, or contact your ex...GO FOR A WALK! It helps, trust me.

Does that help?

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For added help below is a post by NR of the Circle of Hope to a woman who posted that she wanted to call her ex.

ORIGINAL POST: "Me Again :)" Lately I have been wanting to call my ex up and see how he is doing...and what not..tell him how I am and so on. TELL ME HOW WRONG THIS IS! P.S- I wouldnt be calling him to get back with him or tell him how much I miss him....more like a HI, how are ya type of call. HELP NEED INPUT!

RESPONSE POST: "Bad idea, and you know it....." If you do, what do you hope to accomplish? To hear his voice? To really find out how he is doing? Or are you hoping that he wants to rekindle things? Whatever your reasons, the end result will be pain, unless you are in the 1% minority that can deal well with contacting their ex. And if you call and he snubs you, you will feel bad. If you call and he tells you he is dating another, you will feel bad. If you call, and he begs you to come back, in a pitiful state of neediness, will you? I cannot see any positives to contact him. You are asking for the wounds to be re-opened. If you are a masochist, go ahead and call, but you have been warned. Your choice, with all the ramifications of your actions squarely on your shoulders. In my opinion? Grieve silently regarding him. Miss him, and cry over him if you need to. But call him not. Give him back to himself. Focus on you. You are thinking of him because you are deflecting your thoughts away from you, your life, your interests, which is entirely natural. Only my opinions. Do as you may. Good luck to you. Peace NR

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