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HOW TO GET RID OF YOUR LIVE-In
BOYFRIEND/HUSBAND
-
Take the batteries out of all the remotes in
the house.
-
Organize his workshop, dresser top, or other
special place.
-
Bribe his faithful dog away from him with a
steady diet of Ring Dings.
-
Shrink his underwear in the dryer and when he
complains, innocently suggest that he's gained a few pounds.
-
Stare at his forehead and when he notices, casually
ask if there is any history of male pattern baldness on his mother's side.
-
Repeatedly misplace the cordless phone, preferably
in a different room each time.
-
Loan his precious cellular phone to a pregnant
girlfriend who "needs it more than he does."
-
Insist upon a lot of "meaningful conversations."
-
Have your mother fly in for a month-long visit
unannounced.
-
Reverse his contact lenses in their case.
-
Snip a small hole in his fishing waders, then
follow him with a camera to capture his "sinking" on film.
-
Superglue the pages of his Little Black Book
together.
-
Plan to throw a 'Tupperware Party' the same
time as the Super Bowl.
-
Speak to him VERY slowly and distinctively so
that he can understand.
-
Drop in on him at the gym to bring him a sweater.
As you hand it to him, tell him loudly that you noticed it was 'getting a
little bit chilly out'.