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What I Have Learned

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just idiots.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that if at first you don't succeed, check to see if the loser gets anything.

I've learned that brain cells come and go, but fat cells are forever.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big dick or huge breasts.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that you can keep puking long after you think you're finished.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place.

I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones who do.

I've learned that we don't have to ditch bad friends, because their dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves.

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I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get arrested and end up in the local paper.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.

I've learned to say "Screw you if you can't take a joke" in 6 languages.

Pass this along to a couple of friends...trust me, they'll appreciate it and maybe something good will come of it. And if not, well, tough shit.

~Contributed by DesignGoddess (DG) of the the Lifted Hearts Community

^v^

Continue on to NR's response to this post!

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