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(Taken with permission from a post on the "Codependent Support Group" Board)

"If you want to know what alanon and codependency groups do for a person, this reading pretty much says it all. It doesn't tell you how to do it, (going to meetings will help you with that) it gives you the end result if you are able to give either one of these groups a real chance. Kat is a perfect example of how it works. You talk, and you talk, and you read and you listen, and then one day you are different! You know what is good for you and what is not. You're mouth opens and all this stuff!!! comes out. It is wonderful. Freedom is what it is called."

Below is the Dec. 5th Reading from
The Language of Letting Go, by Melody Beattie.

Difficult People.

Few things can make us feel crazier than expecting something from someone who has nothing to give. Few things can frustrate us more than trying to make a person someone he or she isn't; we feel crazy when we try to pretend that person is someone he or she is not. We may have spent years negotiating with reality concerning particular people from our past and our present. We may have spent years trying to get someone to love us in a certain way, when that person cannot or will not.

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It is time to let it go. It is time to let him or her go. That doesn't mean we can't love that person anymore. It means that we will feel the immense relief that comes when we stop denying reality and begin accepting. We release that person to be who he or she actually is. We stop trying to make that person be someone he or she is not. We deal with our feelings and walk away from the destructive system.

We learn to love and care differently in a way that takes reality into account.

We enter into a relationship with that person on new terms - taking ourselves and our needs into account. If a person is addicted to alcohol, other drugs, misery, or other people, we let go of his or her addiction; we take our hands off it. We give his or her life back. And we, in the process, are given our life and freedom in return.

We stop letting what we are not getting from that person control us. We take responsibility for our life. We go ahead with the process of loving and taking care of ourselves.

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We decided how we want to interact with that person, taking reality and our own best interests into account. We get angry, we feel hurt, but we land in a place of forgiveness. We set him or her free, and we become set free from bondage.

This the heart of detaching with love.

Today, I will work at detaching in love from troublesome people in my life. I will strive to accept reality in my relationships. I will give myself permission to take care of myself in my relationships, with emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual freedom for both people as my goal.

Have a great week ladies, unless of course you have other plans! lol Love Susan (cl-mist99-Codependants Support Group)

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For more help recovering from a Codependency-Breakup read the book How to Get Over a Breakup


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